Perfect is the Enemy of Progress: Lessons from a Founder's Sabbatical

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I'm back! I thought I was doing it live. LinkedIn had other plans. But I've been gone for about six weeks unintentionally. I went away for the summer and had all of our episodes recorded and planned and then came back and I just was not in a good energy.

And when I talk about being overwhelmed and over it, that was definitely, my vibe as a founder, when I got back from my summer trip. So I recorded my last podcast episode in July and the last one aired about a month ago. And in that time, I realized I needed to step away from my life, as I knew it. I was in a place of trying to force things to happen and I'll just be fair. I couldn't do it anymore. 

And I find it interesting. I'm recording this podcast on September 14th, 2024. And just this morning, I actually saw a post around Kevin Hart closing all of his vegan restaurants because of very similar reasons, they were trying to force it to happen. They had this belief that it was what needed to happen and they tried and tried and tried. But the numbers and the business model just wasn't there and something wasn't in alignment.

And so they've made the choice to just shut everything down and. I think for many of us as founders or entrepreneurs or business owners, when you go to shut something down, whether it is an entire business or just a simple service that you had, it feels like a grieving experience. It feels like something is broken and you are leaving something behind.

And so that is a lot of what has been happening behind the scenes with me. I wanted to take today's episode to come back because one, the podcast has a new name. Hello, Overwhelmed & Over It podcast. I'm so happy to welcome you into this world. But also just because I've been gone for a while, and for those of you who have messaged me and DM'd me and called and texted me to just be like, 

"Hey, you know, I have not seen you or heard from you. Where are you? Are you alive? Are things okay?"

They are I'm good. I had just, truthfully honestly hit max capacity as a human being and I could not keep pushing. And so I needed to take a step back. Today's episode is really going to be around giving you some of that background around that sabbatical, what my time looked like, why I needed it and even more so what lessons came on the other side of stepping away for six weeks, because if you are a small business founder or entrepreneur, you know, how scary six weeks walking away actually feels like. 

And so I'm excited to share with you what positive things can come on the other side of that. So with that, let's dive into where the heck has Gabs been and what has been going on over the last few weeks. 

Many of you, know, that I am what I like to call a slow nomad. For me means we typically live somewhere for like a year or two before we move on to the next place. In the last 10 years or 11 years, our family has lived in six different states. So if that kind of gives you a clue of like capacity and how frequently we move. 

And no we're not army. No, it's not usually for jobs. It's usually just because I am somewhat, as I like to say a gypsy and I like to go experience new places. Some of it has been for health-related reasons for our youngest and some of it has been just because it's our life and we get to make that choice. 

Part of those moves means our summers are typically spent taking the kids back home to Georgia, which is where my husband and I were both born and raised. So that way the kids get to spend their summer with family and friends that they usually don't get to see much throughout the year. Traditionally what that looks like is more my husband, or I will take them back home to Georgia. We drop them off there with grandparents, and then we will go back home to wherever we are living at the time. However this year, there were a couple of reasons I didn't do that.

One was we flew the kids on companion passes, which meant we had to fly on the same itinerary. So there wasn't that going back and forth for me. And then my youngest has had just really significant ups and downs with her health in the last couple of years. And I just emotionally was not at a place to leave her and feel like I could be out of four hour flight away in case she needed intervention with her asthma and her care.

There was a defining moment over the summer that prompted this. My first book, *Women Thrive*, was released just before my trip home. The book's publication opened up conversations with people who had known me for a very long time. Even those who hadn't read it yet seemed to have an unspoken permission, knowing I had poured my darkest moments onto those pages. This created a safe space for conversations we'd never had before.

One evening, I was having a casual conversation with someone very close to me when it suddenly got real, real fast. If you know me, you know that surface-level conversations aren't my thing. I'm either here to talk about real life, or I'd rather not talk at all. So we got into things that hadn't been said for years, or even ever.

As we talked about life and its ups and downs, she said she wanted me to help her through this but wasn't sure how. She didn't fully understand my work or what I meant when I talked about helping her chase her boldest dreams. And to be honest, I didn't have great answers for her.

The elevator pitch I'd practiced over and over didn't answer her questions. All the podcast episodes I'd recorded had piqued her interest, but weren't enough to open the door to resolution for her. The website copy I'd rewritten countless times wasn't telling the story... and neither could I.

As painful as this moment was, it was the permission I needed to just be. I've had just as many pivots as I have years as an entrepreneur. So I'm not afraid of working hard or trying something new.

But the one thing I hadn't tried was to stop forcing things to happen. I realized I was forcing clarity instead of finding it.

And that, my friends, is a completely different experience!

In the last month of finding clarity instead of forcing it, I realized two things that have not only held me back in my entrepreneurial journey but in life. My hope is that by sharing these, I can help you avoid being held back by them for as long as I was.

(1) My perfectionism is going to be the death of me. 

And 

(2) 17 years ago, my dad was right: I don't handle stress well.

_______________________________________

Oh, perfectionism... you're the leader of the overwhelm team and were the dictator of my life for so long. I'm willing to bet my children's inheritance that you've already stolen years of my life. But thanks to this short break, you won't be doing that anymore.

Up until this point, as a former project manager turned product manager, my approach to running my businesses was as follows:

• Dream up a new idea for my business.
• Brainstorm, plan, plan some more, double and triple check the plan.
• Create an unrealistic timeline to launch it all that drove me crazy.
• Get broken-hearted when it wasn't the thing that took off.
• Start the cycle all over again.

Thinking something was wrong with me or my ideas when it wasn't a success, I would pivot again. Refusing to try something new until it was just perfect, and then surprise! A flop.

I won't say failure because each flop led me to learn more about myself, what my superpowers actually are, and who I can truly make the most impact on. But they definitely took the wind out of my sails each time.

Which led me right into lesson #2 that came through so clearly during this sabbatical. Teenage me rolled my eyes so hard... but that inner child healing is where it's at!

17 years ago, standing in front of my dad and his computer, overwhelmed and complaining about something likely not that important at the time, he said to me, "You don't handle stress well."

Looking back at it now, I think I subconsciously signed up for a stressful life after that to prove him wrong. I wanted to prove that I was worthy and capable of handling all the really shitty things I saw my dad go through in his career.

And so each and every time I didn't find the true success I was looking for, I thought it was because I wasn't doing enough. I wasn't showing up enough. I wasn't proving myself enough.

This really manifested itself when I decided to give entrepreneurship a try. I didn't launch one business - I launched three. I didn't set goals to serve three clients - I set goals to serve 300. And when I wrote the book, my circle literally laughed at me because they knew how full my plate was.

With each offer and launch, I was lowering my rates and offering more of me. Thinking the more I gave and the more I did, the more I could convince people I was the right person to help them.

I wanted to fix everything for my clients. And I was (and still am) willing to jump into the messy middle of their lives and their businesses to find the way out.

The problem was, I was trying to give them the directions and dig the hole out for them at the same time.

What I see so clearly now is that the best partnerships in success are having someone who is executing and someone who is guiding. Someone who knows every little detail and someone who knows exactly where we are headed. And those should not be the same people.

As a multi-passionate problem solver, I can do both. So I found myself signing up for both all the time. It didn't serve me or my clients.

When you ask me why I believe in small business and entrepreneurship, it's because I wholeheartedly believe it's the way we bring back customer experience. I believe it is how we take care of each other again. I believe it is how we use tech to enhance our lives instead of move us through processes like an assembly line.

And you know the #1 thing I failed at running a business so freaking stressed out (and not handling it well might I add)? The experience for my own customers. It was never what I wanted for them. And it was never something I was proud to shout from the rooftops about.

Which guess what that does to your business...

• You don't talk about it enough.
• You don't talk about it confidently.
• You don't show up fully for it.
• It isn't fulfilling anymore.
• You question why you are even doing it.

I had gotten to the point where I thought being a founder wasn't for me. That I had really taken a drastically wrong detour in life. And I was heartbroken to leave it. I was heartbroken to figure out what was next.

Until it found me.

In my month away - with no sales activities - I started four new engagements to help fellow founders in my network brainstorm and launch new experiences in their businesses.

Are they clients? Are they friends? Are they partners? I don't know the right term because that is exactly what I envision.

Our Slack chats and Google Meet calls are a beautiful mix of catching up on life and diving into business.

We are founders who are thinking out of the box, putting our customers first, and building businesses that are memorable - without being overwhelmed.

And I invite you to join us! Weekly, you will hear from me and other founders that I respect and admire to learn how we are uniquely doing this without being overwhelmed.

The Overwhelmed & Over It Podcast is officially here! The place where we candidly talk about changing the way founders and customers experience business.

And I can just tell you my guest next week... brought me to tears with the work they are doing!! Make sure you are subscribed on your favorite podcast platform so you don't miss next week's episode.